Monday, August 24, 2009

View on dating

I officially hate dating. I don't know how people can sometimes do it for decades! I hate that it could end at any moment for no particular reason leaving you confused and hurt and feeling bad about yourself even though you didn't do anything wrong.

I hate that everyone seems to have an opinion about your situation and some advice about how "that's just the way it is." Everyone has some story to tell about a guy that did something similar to them. Even my mom told me a story about a guy that randomly started ignoring her and for years it bothered her until she finally found out that it was because she was too inexperienced. What is with guys!?

And why is "he's just a guy" a valid excuse? Does being a guy really mean you can act like an asshole and just get away with it? Can guys really think that differently than girls do? They're still human for god sakes!

I just hate that I was finally happy and had hopes and plans for the future. I didn't expect it to end so suddenly. I hate that there's no guarantee with dating. At least if you had a boyfriend then you could pretty much assume that they like you and want to hang out with you and you can plan ahead. But when only dating a guy, they feel no obligation toward you. They can leave you in a sobbing puddle on the floor and walk away guilt-free.

And how is it fair that after only dating a guy for 3 weeks everything reminds me of him! I'll listen to a song and wonder if he'd like it. I'll see a commercial on TV or talk about a movie that I saw with him. I'll put on a particular dress or shirt that I last wore when I saw him.

I know that I'll eventually get over him. It's not like we were in love or anything. It just sucks that it ended so soon and without any warning. And I hate that all my memories of our time together (and all of my firsts) are tainted by how it ended.

Hopefully one day I can look back on this experience and feel okay or even happy about it, but right now I just feel proud when I go one day without crying.